Sunday, December 07, 2008

how long has it been?

we have been in a black hole of sickness. i cannot believe it is almost Christmas! I have been outside, in the past two weeks, only to go to the hospital and twice, briefly, to check on the cows.they were sick with us, and so was henry our dog. at the peak of this, i felt sure we would lose any number of cows and our last dog, but none of that happened. to be fair, i also thought i was going to die, and i am not kidding.

we are recovering! there is no doubt. my eyes, which were hurting all of the time and hurt even to turn them to look at things, are better! they are still pink-hued where they should be white, but they don't hurt! i am over the flu altogether and am not having to take pain medicine around the clock. my pneumonia is still pretty bad- or what is left of it- i have a hard time breathing and have coughing spells. i still cannot brave the cold outside air because it really aggravates my lungs. but i am hopeful. any pneumonia experiences? how long before i feel 100%?

the kids are well. rome is the only one i would still call sick. he is still really snotty and fussy... but on the mend. we are all still taking our antibiotics for a few more days.

the cows are recovering, too. henry is bright eyed again (not a cow, but still) Nimue got it first then Rori. Nimue is better but still looks poor, Rori is still getting better. the calves seem okay. a lot of changes are happening very soon with the cows. because...

Anatoly is like a different person without dairy.

It is hard to describe all the ways he has changed. little ways and huge ways... it all adds up to a less aggressive, happier, more communicative boy. he is suddenly speaking to us. he is suddenly pretending all of the time. when we speak to him he no longer reacts in violence- he used to almost every time i said anything. it used to be i could wave at him or say his name and he would hit, or bite or throw and start screaming at me. suddenly, when i say 'hi, toly!' to him he giggles and comes in for a hug. i am trying to say we see profound change in him, and i have no doubt he is allergic to cow's milk protein/ fully allergic to milk & milk products.

what does this mean for us? it means we have no business milking cows right now.

we only did dairy, and i feel we should eventually do corn, gluten, soy, etc. just to be sure. this change is amazing.

we are still getting toly evaluated i think for the behavioral end of things, because we have the appointments and later o down the line we might regret not doing it.

along with that huge blessing, we have been showered upon with love and food and prayers and wishes. it is so clear to me how i can often get depressed & out of touch with reality. just a week ago in the peak of my illness i thought i might die, and financially we were ruined, and the cows and dog were sick and the kids were all screaming and poor karl taking care of us all. today as we are recovering we have food in our house, Christmas presents coming in the mail to put under the tree (we got a tree!), and hope hope hope all around. i will gladly give up dairy and anything else for my beautiful son who is better.

i want to shout out to God and everyone i know (+ some people i dont even know who have helped us): thank you! we are alive and blessed with friendship and there is so much to look forward to!
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