Wednesday, December 10, 2008

leaving the house

i have appointments today... and have to leave the house. it is cold and a dust of snow is out there, but i  made the appointments before we got sick and i should keep them. one is a doctor check for Rome and another is lead testing for all of the older kids. the lead testing is part of our investigation into Anatoly and they convinced me i should have all 3 older kids tested. since i wrote this part earlier i have decided to cancel & stay home. the roads are not ideal with the snow and cold weather and i am not a very skilled driver. so home i stay.

i am feeling better each day, with short intervals of feeling awful springing up every now and then. i have been managing things at home while karl works, at least, the dishes are clean and i keep the kids safe... but not much beyond that. we have food, glorious food, for days and all i have to do is put it in the oven or on the stove.

Anatoly had a bad day yesterday. when i say he is improved i mean it, but there must be more going on.. Sensory Integration Disorder? more food allergies? that's why we will keep looking into those things. His aggression is way toned down and he seems more hyperactive without the aggression. i love my boy. he now, suddenly says "what's that... for?" (with a pause before for, like he is tacking it on) "mama! titi! rome rome!" (when i should nurse Rome) and "watch-ouchie!" (watch out) he still grabs our faces and turns them towards things he wants or wants us to see. he brought out a whole train of thomas the other day and said "tray-train!" for the first time.  oh, and he has said 'thank you!"!

Rome is scooting/ crawling everywhere. his cutest move is to lay on his side, propped up on one elbow, and reach up to me with his free arm. he wants UP. he wants to sit UP. he wants to be held and loved on and kissed and squeezed. he is also discovering the wonders of paper-eating. a friend (clmama) sent us a 'whoozit' toy and he cherishes it. it is his very favorite thing to maul and chew upon. i highly recommend these toys, which seem silly to us grown-ups but have won my kids' hearts. there are quite a few different kinds. amazon has them. Rome is one of those babies that watches things in the air you cannot see. he will smile at your face, but must be seeing something beyond.

Tristan is very moody about Christmas and everything else. he has always been intense, dramatic. the other day he woke up, came into the room i was in, and said "mama?..." and as i answered him he was walking off. i said "what, Tristan?" and he replied "never mind... it's not worth it..." heh. i followed along and asked again he said he was hungry. he is such a mope some days! trying on the sullen boy attitude. Tristan loves all things electronic and needs no help in mastering them. he would play games and watch dvds and surf the internet all day. but he is also very physically active and rough. loves to go to work with daddy, run and climb and explore the woods.

Kassiopeia has cultivated a relationship with Rome you just wouldn't believe. since the day he was born, even before actually... she spends more time face to face with him than i do. and now she carries him around, dresses him, gives him toys and sings songs to him. tells him stories and teaches him about the world. it is a beautiful thing. the two of them will always have that, i know, i can tell by how Rome looks at her and vice-versa. Kassi is so different from Tristan, of course. but it surprises me. she has little interest in computers or video games, unlike Tristan who is a natural with electronics. she loves to color and draw, but only does things she enjoys in that arena and isn't very interested in writing or reading. (Tristan was already doing both at 4, but then he 'needed' to learn to read to play computer games.) she is content to mother Rome, play dress up, build with blocks and follow me around in the kitchen or house, cooking or cleaning.

we have been blessed with a few gifts from people... and i was able to buy karl a Christmas present. (carhartt coveralls and new work pants!) at the same time, he was given a gift with the request that he buy me the dutch oven of my dreams that he had pictured in his blog on my birthday. It is a Lodge brand enameled dutch oven, in emerald green (i think he pictured red, but i love the green!) and it arrived in the mail yesterday. here it is. it is big and beautiful and will make many many dinners for us. soups, stews, roasts, beans. i even have a recipe for dutch oven bread. thank you fairy who made that possible. thank you others who made it possible that i won't need this dutch oven for a couple of weeks due to all the prepared food... who made it possible for me to buy a gift for karl. oh and  karl came home yesterday with a fire extinguisher, something we have been needing for years. an unusual Christmastime gift-for-our-home but it is a good thing to have when you heat with wood.i could go on and on, but to sum it up this is a good winter for us, despite the illness and the shifting situation with the cows, and what-not. this is a changing, healing, developing winter for all of us... and i like it.

knitting is happening as of last night. i cast on for Anatoly's pullover featuring Totoro in Marr Haven wool. I am halfway through the back panel. knits up in a jiffy- i got all that done during The Dark Knight last night (good movie but seriously twisted, would not have personally rated it PG-13). this pullover is made possible by feebeeglee, who calculated the whole pattern and chart for me and even helped me choose colors. she is my enabler.

things i have in my mind for before Christmas: make cookies a few times (dairy free, of course!), make paper ornaments with the kids our of old Christmas cards, send out our own cards and such, bake biscotti. some one of us needs to go to the health food store and buy dairy-free stocking treats. oh, and how could i forget: we always string popcorn on the tree!
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