Thursday, January 01, 2009

the evaluation

i am going to be very brief about this and then i am going to try not to remember it.

the evaluation was more horrible than i thought possible. the doctor had requested i write a short history and send it ahead so he could be more failiar with Anatoly when we arrived. he had not read it.

basically, he came into the room with the idea that i was a horrible parent, and callously told me i 'couldnt see the forest for the trees' and that i needed parental counseling. then he said "this is your first, right?" no, doctor, it s not. no i am not a bad mother. as if him being my first would somehow back up his ideas anyway. but in fact he is my third, and i wouldnt be there if i werent really sure something was wrong here. i didnt say any of this though... i just let him talk. he asked rhetorical questions a lot, like "does he know any kind of discipline? do you ever tell him no? which was really awful because actually, yes we do say no. we are not TCS here.  we have semi- 'time outs' where we sit down and calm down. there are rules. my older two kids have gone through tough stages but Toly is having serious trouble.

in a contradictory twist, the doctor assesed Anatoly as ADHD and would like to see us get over our irrational fear of ritalin and get him medicated asap. (he came at me with this, that he assumed i was irrationally afraid of medication because we homeschool. HE SAID THAT!) he also explained how putting Toly in daycare would really help everyone. i would get a break from him and he could be around "people who are not afraid to teach him right from wrong". yes, because that is what daycare is for.

he laughed in my face when i told him about the improvements without dairy. seriously. he laughed and said that was crackpot business. i tried to object, you know people ARE sometimes allergic to milk, or other foods. but he was not having it.

he snapped at Toly 3 times during the evaluation- liike scolding him if he was doing something wrong. excuse me, even if this were the place, you are not the parent. back off, you know, we just met you.

so he left me saying he was sending a letter to our doctor authorizing medication and that when we got over our irrational fears we should have Dr Mabe prescribe. also, in the future if we needed to he could authorize sleeping meds for him too. my two year old marvel of a son, on ritalin and zombie-sleep. not a chance.

wasted day. and i feel done. i am not going back to any other neurologists, etc. i don't care. i dont think i can stomach any more.
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